Winners:

Atlanta: They went strong to the hoop….picking up stud first baseman Mark Teixeira and Reliever Octavio Dotel…improving their hitting, defense and pitching.

Red Sox: They strengthen their bullpen with the addition of Greg Gagne and resisted the temptation to overpay for Jermaine Dye.

Rangers: Get rid of Teixeira and Gagne…..two of their few remaining stars….but get back a boatload of prospects back…..including uber-prospects Jared Saltalamacchia and Elvis Andrus. Managed correctly…they could be loaded in a couple of years. Expect Sammy Sosa to be squeezed through waivers in an August trade.

Mets: Keep their top prospects….but add Luis Castillo to their already potent line-up.

LOSERS:

Phillies: The Phillies acquired a bookend for their other domestic abuser Brett Myers by acquiring minor league pitcher Julion Mateo…giving up a journeyman minor league infielder. Previously, they had acquired Kyle Lohse…he of the 4.58 ERA….giving up promising left Matt Maloney in the process. (even our thong-wearing interns know that you never trade away good lefty arms).

To make matters worse….the Phillies were unable to make a trade involving All-Star centerfielder Aaron Rowland….meaning they will likely watch him walk away to free agency this winter! Woohoo!

Yankees: Wilson Betemit? Please. AND they still have Kyle Farnsworth. YUCK!

The NL West: The Padres trade away Scott Linebrink….one of the few coveted players in this year’s trade pool…..and add Morgan Ensberg? Rob Mackowiak? Please. Please. The Giants grab Rajai Davis? Crickets.

Horrible. A few weeks ago…it looked like the NL entrant in the World Series was coming out of the West….now it looks like it’s coming out of the East.

Chicago White Sox: Bidding never heated up for Mark Buerhle….so they resigned him. Bidding never heated up for Jermaine Dye….so they’re stuck with him. This franchise is looking pretty nasty in the next few years.

Thanks to GlengarryGlenBoss from Freehold, ENJAY….for sending us the link to this make out mash up from The L Word.

It’s just what we need to get us through these difficult, difficult times.

p.s. (Boss…the interns were squeeling watching this……puddles abound!)

…..more pics from our hand to your hand.

here

here

here (showing some of the soft pocket)

Looks like TWO BIG DUMMIES are about ready to hook up.

ESPN is reporting that the Raiders who already have a stable of QB’s including Andrew Walter, Josh McCown and the currently unsigned JeMarcus Russell…..are adding Dante Culpepper to the mix. This is really a strange move by the Raiders because they likely will only have Culpepper for a year….so basically they’ll be financing his rehab. AL DAVIS IS A DONKEY!

It’s a really horrible move by Culpepper….because his priority should be to get with a winning name so that he begins to disassociate himself from the stench of failure….which has followed him around since the famous love boat incident in Minnesota. DANTE IS A DINGUS!

BAD MOVE DUDES!

Oakland Trib story here.

We took a break from working the Bill Walsh Griefapalooza and the Chester Taylor forearm drama and the MLB tradeline phonelines to whip it out and whack it to some TennisPorn.

And now we share with you some nice beefflappage from Elena Dementieva.

And because one picture sometimes is not enough to get you through the night.

We give you this.

and this.

and this.

The day after TheManWhoInventedFootball/CuredBubonicPlague
/DiscoveredCleanRenewableEnergy/StoppedTheWarInIraq Football Coach Bill Walsh dies….he continues to dominate the airwaves and pages of newspapers everywhere.

We dug into our archives to come up with this photo from 2006……if this is how Jerry Rice blubbered during his retirement ceremony……we really look forward to the emotions flowing at the funeral….which no doubt will be broadcast on ESPN, CSPAN and other important outlets (sorry….theGasChannel will be airing NetBallPorn)

Let’s make a few things perfectly clear:

We don’t like Tom Coughlin.

We don’t like the Giants.

But what Michael Strahan has done to the Giants is totally gross. The over-the-hill gap-tooth-muthafucka has left the Giants high and dry while he perpetrates a hold-out in the name of a contemplated retirement.

We now see why the Giants have never lived up to their potential…..their defensive (Strahan) and offensive (Tiki Barber) captains are total softies. Dare we say…..they are SO SO SOFT.

Latest on this story here.

What the fuck does that mean!?!?!?!?!?! Well…apparently it’s the way they say Uniform down under….and believe you me….we’re ordering these new uni’s for all of the female staff here AND at the GasChannel.

Oh…we’ve skipped ahead again. Well…as you know….TheGasChannel is the new official channel for NetBall…..and the SilverFerns are netball elite. Look how hot these uni’s are……are you going to tell us that the WNBA attracts fans here….but netball won’t?!?!?!?!?!

whooo….whack one off while we catch our collective breath…….

Here’s Adine Wilson with the new SilverFerns Kit!

Tell us that Kit isn’t “whack off to the captain of the cheerleaders while we can’t get a date” HOT!

Here’s a headshot of Adine. She’s a peach. We wanna marry he!

This one is strange…..lots of small people playing baseball….Watch a batter strike out and hit a homer on the same pitch.