we had to read the email twice. the good parts, three times. it was right there on the computer screen. it had to be true…..

you will probably be as stunned we were to find out that flatusyahu.com is now the top US-based sports blog in slovenia, a little nation sandwiched between austria, hungary, croatia and italy with strange city names like ljubljana, nova gorica, celje and trbovlje.

we had seriousgus, our accountant, check the data several times. he reported back that he couldn’t find a US-based sports blog with a higher slovenian ranking than flatusyahu.com. not wanting to ruin the buzz…we had him stop after he checked only two or three sites. this was OUR day…we didn’t want something as annoying as the facts to ruin it.

with this data in hand, we contacted the slovenian president, danilo turk, and asked for some type of recognition befitting our standing. a key to the city murska sobota, a ticker-tape parade, a citation….anything official. after several days of anxious waiting, we finally received word from slovenia.

we were sent a link to the #1 VIP female escort in slovenia with the suggestion that she would “regonize” our greatness.

her name was nina.

after contacting her at +386 51 234117, we were told that she would be happy to recognize us as slovenia’s #1 us-based sports blog…..for a fee of 300EUR for 1 hour, 500EUR for 2 hours and 1,400EUR for a full day.

we were excited! at $1,400EUR per day, we figured we could afford to be “recognized” for three full days if we emptied our grad-school savings account. then we remembered how weak the dollar had become and SNAP!…..we were back to reality. we could only afford to be “recognized” for an hour or two….

…we made it clear to Nina that we weren’t interested in anything tawdry, anything usafe, anything…..unusual. only to be “recognized”. she replied, “that’s good dahling…because i’m offering professional escort service and all money exchanged with me is for time and companionship only. anything else that may occur is a matter of personal choice between two or more consenting adults of legal age and is not contracted for, nor is it requested for or compensated in any matter”. it sounded like we weren’t the first moe to hear that shpiel before.

we said great! but what about “recognition”?. she replied….”that’s included, dahling”.

after some light banter, we got down to brass tacks and found that Nina is 5′9″, 126lbs and has 36D “recognition handles”. we were also relieved to find that she is open-minded to light fetishes, like sportsblogging and only sees men of high standing (that would exclude you new sports bloggers who haven’t hit the top 100,000 in slovenia….sorry, dudes).

and so….the fuse has been lit….contact has been made….arrangements are being…arranged….and “recognition” is about to happen. we’ll keep you posted.

it’s good to be the top us-based sports blog in slovenia.