We’ve always thought there was a similarity there. And not just because neither can take a shower like a normal person.

With news that TO has Gin Blossoms or Black Crowes playing on his ipod, we certainly look at that infamous breakdown in a new light. Not that’s there’s anything wrong with that.

art by phizzed exclusively for flatusyahu

Is it possible for ANY team with Deangelo Hall on it to be successful?  Prolly not.

Danny Snyder keeps writin’ them checks and his players keep wiggin’ out.  If they’re not getting shot, they’re exposing themselves on the internet.  SumpinSumpin is ALWAYS happening at Deadskin’s Park.

Now it’s Clinton Portis.  Not happy with being benched, he is all pissed of at Jim Zorn (seen here looking about as queer as cornflakes in a bowl with apple juice) because the coach held him accountable for his lousy performances of late.

Peeshaw! Says Portis!  His hero/mancrush/pottery partner Sean Taylor DIED so that others could also have the right to be over-rated, over-compensated and non-accountable!

What might be the most part of this story is that kick-returner Rock Cartwright brokered a peace between Zorn and Portis.  Isn’t that a General Manager’s job?  Ooops.  Fraudskins don’t HAVE a General Manager.

Oh Snap!

Real words here.

Even Dupes will agree that Hockey before New Years is boring.  That’s why we thank Joe Sakic of the Colorado Avalanche Injury Reserve team for being a donkey and sticking his fingers where they ought not be.  (sure we do that all the time, but we guarantee that there ain’t no moving parts where we stick em!)

Sakic, of course, has all the money in the world and still feels he needs to be blowing snow (or other stuff).  This despite the fact that he is not playing do to a bad back.  He should just up and marry one of those sturdy Canadian heffers to do the heavy lifting.

We’ve got two words for JoeSack:  STOO-PID.

More words here.

….cause he can’t stop staring at Visanthe Shiancoe’s long and strong brown love sausage!

While most found it scandalous that a football player would be nude in a football locker room, we found it scandalous that Brad Childress wouldn’t stop staring at his tight end’s weenis.

dinky humor is good shit.

artist:  phizzed for flatusyahu.com

Nobody puts baby in a box…errr….a corner.  Sorry, wrong movie.

Clinton Portis continues to carry the memory of Sean Taylor close to his nipples.  Emm, heart.  And frankly, we’re getting a little tired of this necrophelia-tinted man-crush.

Let Taylor, go, Clinton.  Let. Him. Go.

Oda Mae, we gotta go!

that’s right, smeldrick, your and my favorite “can’t rely on him for jack shit” fantasy receiver, plaxico “plax isuzu” burress is fixing to be charged with gun offenses and to issue a very speedy not guilty plea, according to his mouthpiece, benjamin brafman. hey, if you can’t trust a jewish lawyer, who can you trust?

exactly.

we’re not saying plax isuzu is lying about the potential gun offense.  he enters a nightclub, gets shot in the leg with nobody else around, refuses immediate treatment….hey, you be the judge.  we’re just saying that he’s lying if he thinks he’s worth that huge new contract he got last summer.  give us the peace and quiet of kevin walter over plax isuzu any day.

whatever, plax.  at least you didn’t kill yourself followed by weeks of us hearing what an amazing human being you were, ala sean taylor.  thanks for sparing us that, bitch.