If your mistress sends you the following text message stream, you might want to think about a restraining order:

“U love me?”

“Baby I might have a breakdown im so stressed”

“baby I need to pay the cell phone bills n the hospital. can u transfer 2000 to my acc.”

“All this bills n everything else is stressin me out.”

“Baby I have 2 be w u 2nite. I dnt care where.”

In the words of J. Edgar Hoover, “Yikes!”.

We here at the ‘Hu know that it’s difficult to say no to a mistress.  Getting the strange pootie will cloud a man’s mind like bukkake clouds the vision of a 19 year old Japanese porn queen.  Very few things in this world are like the strange pootie.  So, we empathize with the tragic plight of poor Steve McNair.

The strange pootie needs money.  No problem.

The strange pootie needs to be told she’s loved.  No problem.

The strange pootie tells you she is having a nervous breakdown.  BIG FUCKING PROBLEM!

Here’s our MMTM tip of the day.  When the strange pootie starts to have an emotional breakdown….GET THE FUCK OUT OF DODGE!!!

If only Monday-Morning Text Messager was there for him in his moment of crisis.  Because we did not think of the concept until just now, McNair paid with his life.