You want the Clam, Dupes?
Published: October 17th, 2007
You can’t handle the Clam!
Dupes, we live in a world that has CLAMS. And those CLAMS have to be photographed by men with cameras.
Who’s gonna do it? You? You, Lt. PhizzEd?
I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for cameltoe and you curse the gasman.
You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that cameltoe, while pornographic, probably saves lives.
And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives…You don’t want the CLAM. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that CLAM. You need me on that CLAM.