[IMAGES VIA ABACAUSA]

how does the new lara croft make the world forget the old one (aka angelina jolie)?

by flashing her naughty bits to an unsuspecting, but willing public!

HOLY SHIT!  meet british gymnast allison carroll who is the new face (and labia) of lara croft, taking over for the recently be-milfed angelina jolie.

according to the national enquirer (roflmao!):

Alison is an experienced competitive gymnast who has performed and competed across the globe.  Her more than 12 years of gymnastics training align perfectly with the game’s enhanced movement set.

not to mention the fact that her bagina is a secret weapon likely to explode zits on teenage gamers across the planet.

don’t be afraid to click on the images for the high-res close-ups, people.  they won’t bite you.  (but have some tissues handy just in case something “comes up”)

and, oh….here’s some video on the young lass:

…..and this one is a total upgrade. [ns4w]

[IMAGES VIA MAVRIXONLINE]

ooops….she’s talking about fur.  we thought she was referring to hef’s ability to bring the big O with his aged snausage.  our bad.

we think holly madison is shweet…a little thick in the thighs….but SHWEET.  so we weren’t surprised when she wound up looking great for the latest round of PETA promos.   but not everyone can make kendra wilkinson and the present day jenna jameson look good.  and they do look good in their versions of the anti-cruelty spots.

enlarge the thumbnails and enjoy.

[image via famepictures]

welcome to our first episode of YoMama!, where we give you the moms or dads of famous people and axe you to figure out who…Who…..WHO is their famous offspring!  hilarity ensues as you struggle to figure this all out.

by showing the you the rack of this SUPER famous offspring, we’re throwing you an alley oop the first time out.

the person who’s face you can see is melanie sloan, a producer of ashkenazi jewish background originally from the bronx.  sloan met the famous offspring’s daddy-o in denmark, where she was living with said famous offspring’s grandmoms, dorothy.

confused?  we are too.  let’s get to the answer.

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[image via famepictures]

who knew that bono had not one, but TWO, really attractive daughters with wife ali hewson?

here we have bono and youngest daughter memphis eve, usually simply known as eve, hanging out together in st. tropez.  makes dickie trump’s holiday at wallyworld look somewhat mundane.

alas, bono’s daughter is 11 months shy of her 18th birthday, so you will have to wait until next july 7 to ask for her hand in marriage…..and other various unsavory requests.

……on so many different levels. [on205th]

….has the world’s most ginormous ass.  and they’re both hanging below her shoulders. [dirtyrottenwhore]

[images via famepictures]

apparently there’s some law in st. tropez stating that their waters must be occupied by a supermodel 24/7/365.  last week, we had bar rafaeli fulfilling her supermodel duties by splashing around.

this week it’s that kook, karen mulder.  whilst looking hot, mulder has spent the rest of her adult life battling depression, hurling rape allegations against prince albert of monaco and the head honchos at elite model agency and her father.

whatever, she’s still pretty hot and we’d still hit that as long as she was wearing a straightjacket (hey, nothing like getting a footjob from a hot, wrapped-up wingnut!)

[images via buzzfoto]

good god, man, is there not ANYONE on this planet hitting the hot stuff?  (besides you and me)

kato kaelin continues to parlay his nonlebrity into some fine pussy, as evidenced by these pics taken outside the trendy restaurant, STK.

btw, where the fuck is kato getting the money to take a dime out to a dinner at the swanky STK?

whatever dude.  we’re not bitter.  we hope she had herpes.

more pics after the jump.

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[image via famepictures]

two whatzeefucks in one day?  whatzeefuck?

we’ve had our eye on eva longoria for some time and have been speculating within the office that tonyparkersperm drained a jumper deep into her bajina, insperminating her.  she’s just looked really frumpy.  frumpy hair, frumpy clothes.  frumpy frumpy frumpy.

and now this picture.  the only question is if she’s pregnant, or her dezihowzwivez character is loaded in?  we don’t know for sure.

but we’re guessing there’s going to be one more interracial child in the world.