[IMAGES VIA ABACAUSA]

how does the new lara croft make the world forget the old one (aka angelina jolie)?

by flashing her naughty bits to an unsuspecting, but willing public!

HOLY SHIT!  meet british gymnast allison carroll who is the new face (and labia) of lara croft, taking over for the recently be-milfed angelina jolie.

according to the national enquirer (roflmao!):

Alison is an experienced competitive gymnast who has performed and competed across the globe.  Her more than 12 years of gymnastics training align perfectly with the game’s enhanced movement set.

not to mention the fact that her bagina is a secret weapon likely to explode zits on teenage gamers across the planet.

don’t be afraid to click on the images for the high-res close-ups, people.  they won’t bite you.  (but have some tissues handy just in case something “comes up”)

and, oh….here’s some video on the young lass:

…..and this one is a total upgrade. [ns4w]

[IMAGES VIA MAVRIXONLINE]

ooops….she’s talking about fur.  we thought she was referring to hef’s ability to bring the big O with his aged snausage.  our bad.

we think holly madison is shweet…a little thick in the thighs….but SHWEET.  so we weren’t surprised when she wound up looking great for the latest round of PETA promos.   but not everyone can make kendra wilkinson and the present day jenna jameson look good.  and they do look good in their versions of the anti-cruelty spots.

enlarge the thumbnails and enjoy.

[image via famepictures]

who knew that bono had not one, but TWO, really attractive daughters with wife ali hewson?

here we have bono and youngest daughter memphis eve, usually simply known as eve, hanging out together in st. tropez.  makes dickie trump’s holiday at wallyworld look somewhat mundane.

alas, bono’s daughter is 11 months shy of her 18th birthday, so you will have to wait until next july 7 to ask for her hand in marriage…..and other various unsavory requests.

……on so many different levels. [on205th]

….has the world’s most ginormous ass.  and they’re both hanging below her shoulders. [dirtyrottenwhore]

[images via famepictures]

apparently there’s some law in st. tropez stating that their waters must be occupied by a supermodel 24/7/365.  last week, we had bar rafaeli fulfilling her supermodel duties by splashing around.

this week it’s that kook, karen mulder.  whilst looking hot, mulder has spent the rest of her adult life battling depression, hurling rape allegations against prince albert of monaco and the head honchos at elite model agency and her father.

whatever, she’s still pretty hot and we’d still hit that as long as she was wearing a straightjacket (hey, nothing like getting a footjob from a hot, wrapped-up wingnut!)

[images via buzzfoto]

good god, man, is there not ANYONE on this planet hitting the hot stuff?  (besides you and me)

kato kaelin continues to parlay his nonlebrity into some fine pussy, as evidenced by these pics taken outside the trendy restaurant, STK.

btw, where the fuck is kato getting the money to take a dime out to a dinner at the swanky STK?

whatever dude.  we’re not bitter.  we hope she had herpes.

more pics after the jump.

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……..with her nipples at full trim? [nsfwpoa]

[image via famepictures]

….or at least a possible broken stiletto.

this intrepid black feller, ummm, DRAMATICALLY helped katie holmes find the way to the theatre last night where she took in a show with her daughter.

(why’s the daughter blurred? we don’t do children’s pictures. it ain’t cool)

but that black dude sure is cool. half aresenio, half that dude from murphy brown…..he’s got a future in curb watching.

the curb whisperer. a dramatic black man circles the globe preventing near-curb experiences.

hey. we think we’re onto something.  consider it copyrighted and trademarked.

anyone who wants to develop the idea with us should write to the boss at flatusyahu@gmail.com