Good to see that fired Charger’s defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell has his next gig lined up. We’re guessing that TV won’t be an option for this recently “downsized” coach. There’s always radio and this internet thing (that’s what we keep telling ourselves, too)
…..we’re just saying……
Apparently Jack and Diane want to go back to being just two American kids living in the heartland.
Deanne Favre is pouncing on those who are picking on her speed-dialing husband, Jets Interception Machine, Brett Fah-vvvv-errr-vvvv-eh.
Read this for actual details and reporting and stuff like that.
But if you want to know what it’s like to live with Deanna when she’s menstruating, then read her words directly from their charitable blog.
Whatever. The husband’s a has-been donkey, and she’s hot. We’d hit that in a heartbeat.
…..to remind you that Gina Carano is still out of work and suffering from the devastation caused by the global financial crisis.
Keep her in your prayers, people.
The demented old man who brought you a tie at the All-Star game, National League baseball in Milwaukee and the idea of contracting the Minnesota Twins has again re-written the rules of baseball. Deciding that 100 plus years of baseball tradition are no longer applicable, Selig suspended last night’s game, declaring that under no circumstances would he allow a World Series title decided in a 5 1/2 inning game.
Forgetting for a moment that baseball rules DICTATE that games played for 4 1/2 innings are official games, Selig has decided that “It’s not a way to end a World Series”.
True daht, homeslice.
But riddle us this, Batman…..why did you allow the game to begin in the first place. The forecast called for steady rain, windy conditions and increasingly colder temps. So why did you start the game?
BECAUSE YOU ARE A GREEDY MOTHERFUCKER. That’s why.
Fox wanted to make sure they got to run their hit show, House, tonight…..and you did EVERYTHING possible to make sure that’s the case, without having to explain a 4 and 1/2 inning final World Series game. I’ll say it again.
YOU ARE A GREEDY MOTHERFUCKER!
You allowed the game to go for as long as Tampa needed to score a tying run. Then you ran for the hills, you slimy, demented bitch. Now you’re getting everything you want: another TV night, more drama, House on Fox during it’s regularly scheduled time and the city of Philadelphia beaten into further submission. The Phillies and their fans are left dazed and confused, Cole Hamels is fried and out of the picture and the Rays get to visit the Constitution Center, Betsy Ross’ house and Independence Hall on their day off, walking around with a cheshire cat’s grin on their faces.
In reality, the Commissioner had two options. Start the game and risk having to call it in the middle of the game or cancel the game and play it in its entirety on Wed. But Buttplug Selig decided to call an audible and change the rules. I wonder if he would have done so if the score was 10-1 in favor of the Phillies? In favor of the Rays? Fucks no! But rules aren’t subjective. He should not get to decide if 10-1 is different than 2-1. The rules are the rules are the rules.
You, Bud Selig, are a dick. An insect. A greedy twit. I hope some enterprising hotel worker masturbates into your room-service mayonnaise.
Go fuck yourself, you senile old bastard.
Why does he shoot the finger at us? (radar image courtesy weather.com)
Why does he invent a rule that Bob Dupuy pulls out of his hairy asshole?
Why does he let the Rays bat in the top of the inning, but not the Phillies in the bottom of the inning?
Why does he let Carlos Pena, who we’ll bet stares at his teammate’s genitals in the shower, get the game tying hit in a monsoon?
Why does he let Babbabooey sing the National Anthem?
Why does he kill Charlie Manuel’s mother and Shane Victorino’s gramps and then fuck with them in Game Five of the World Series?
Why does he smite all Philadelphians with a 4% wage tax?
Why does he allow Sarah Palin to look so good, and yet be so far away from my ballsack?
Why does God hate Philadelphia?
Yo, Skinny Joey, I Schtupped your Wife.
To those horrific seven words, apparently we must add one more: PARADE.
C’mon, get over yourselves. We just searched philly.com (home of the Philadelphia Daily News and Inquirer) and couldn’t find ONE nugget about WHEN (not if, WHEN) the Phillies championship parade is going to take place. We all have plans to make, grain-alcohol punch to mix together, SEPTA schedules to be reviewed. Someone’s gotta make a decision here. Here are the alternatives:
a.) Day after championship game, if won at home.
b.)Â Two days after championship game, if won at home.
c.)Â Day after championship game, if won on road.
d.)Â Two days after championship game, if won on road.
It really is that simple. Mayor Nutter (what kind of fucking town do we live in when our Mayor’s last name is “Nutter”? geez.) email us with the correct letter and we will get the word out so you don’t have use the word….
Every man, woman and child knows someone who knows someone who can’t tackle Clinton Portis.
(art by Phizzed, exclusively for flatusyahu.com)
artist:Â phizzed exclusively for flatusyahu.com
Courtesy of Uncle Forrest, meet the European Ryder Cup wives. Frankly, they look fairly frigid. We KNOW they’re not nearly as sexual as soccer WAG’s. How? Because unlike soccer WAG’s, we never see them nude.
See the rest of the Ryder WAGs here.
