welcome to flatusyahu, a site with dogged adherence to the lowest possible standards in journalism.  get comfy and lets do some male bonding, shall we?

we don’t know much about this broad (the firebush shown above)….but we think she should change her name to Gina Ginormajugs. (that’s slovakian, fye) {on205th}

are you man enough to find out if Wilt tagged your moms? {theworldofisaac}

resident guest editor Shooter’s prose is such a blog whore so high in demand, his top ten things you’ll never hear on an NBA telecast can be found both here and there. {fivetooltool} {epiccarnival}

speaking of five tool tool…..our editorial board is filled with tools for not choosing their logo as one of the top ten in the sports blogosphere.  it is most definately a top FIVER.  we suck Wilt.

your daily gizmodo:  youth killed by helicopter while getting mails sparks headphone safety debate.  we shit you not. {gizmodo}

who knew that mariah carey’s steamers are worth guarding?  {holytaco}

what evidence does harvey bars have that roger clemens is guilty? {tiricosuave}

whilst eating our daily bacon we noticed that this picture was shocking similar to this recent story about bad parenting. {ilovebacon} {thefootballwire}

we don’t give a flying fark that we posted this yesterday….we may do it every day from now til the end of days.  manny ramirez is the new barry manilow.  THAT is how good his show is. {withleather}

need help developing a mildly obscene insult?  we know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy that can help you get what you need.  capiche? {brahsome}

PhizzEd was in the house enjoying his favorite cracker-reggae band when this was filmed:

they’re our lead-off hitter cause they ALWAYS get on base……and this scarlett johansson/penelope cruz lesbian kiss video is a homerrrrrrun. {on205th}

not for nothing, but this hank steinbrenner expose has the best title of any blog post ever written. goddamn we wish we could write like harvey bars. {tiricosuave}

we hope rumors of philadelphia eagles in cowboy suckwuss roy williams are untrue…even if he is bent on having a breakout 2008 season. {sportaphile}

p.s. how the gasman missed sportaphile’s logo in his list of top sports blog logos is mystifying….they have MULTIPLE logos….all of which are top notch.

we just noticed that ALL former beverly hills 90210 female stars have slightly strange faces. {theworldofisaac}

chase utley’s got bush! no…not THAT kind of bush (although we’re sure he gets plenty of that, too). no….utley has dubya on his team. {huggingharoldreynolds}

one of the interns just mocked LKJ for posting a picture of chase utley, but not a screen capture of scarlett johansson and penelope cruz. man-crushes are mysterious thing, indeed.

MUST SEE proof that manny ramirez was most definately one of the men on the grassy knoll. {awful announcing}

we wonder how the once promising career of wide receiver jerry porter got off track? {kissingsuzykolber}

your daily gizmodo: authentic indiana jones hats now available for just ninety-nine bucks. {gizmodo}

speaking of dave grohl….there’s no way in hell this tune shouldn’t be on your ipod:

kate beckinsale may not be my choice for sexiest woman on the planet…but she ain’t no dog, either.  which is a good thing….considering how hard dogs are finding it on the formula 1 circuit these days these days. {on205th}

i don’t like to double dip on links…..but i also don’t like to pass up a good starlet lesbo story either.  fuck it…why don’t you and on205th just go get a room.  {on205th}

nobody puts baby in the corner……harveybars goes ABSOLUTELY POSTAL  today on goose gossage for trying to do just that to joba chamberlain. {tiricosuave}

you ever watch college softball on the teevee?  some of these broads have gorgeous faces…and the lower body of bob boone.

as you know….we don’t deal in “allegedly’s” and “reportedly’s” here at the ‘hu.  but for this we make an exception.  here’s the (alleged) story…..of a lovely lady…..who was niagra university basketball player…..and apparently the biggest ‘ho in several zip codes….all of these facts, of course, are alleged.  what is NOT alleged is that this broad has a smoking bod. {donchavez}

bills release crippled TE.  just another day in paradise.  {behindblondiepark}

sure, they’re nice asses….but how you think that sand’s going to feel on your dong? {theworldofisaac}

coaching in the WNBA might be more exciting if there were more lipstick lesbians….otherwise…it just plain sucks and this coach knows it. {thesportshernia}

roll some leaf, smoke it and agree with us that nobody puts on a better live show than pink floyd:

a complimentary flatusyahu story about ray lewis? next you’ll tell me a black man could be president. {humor by kennybanyasforeskin}

few men have lived more purile lives than LKJ….but we’re pretty sure Pete Rose is one of them.  of course, i never stole second, third and home all in one inning like charlie hustle did 28 years ago. {blogging-baseball}

the gentleman from the republic of phillies objects to the amount of territory ceded to the republic of the nationals. (bp0)

meet the world’s only yankee fan who objects to the steinbrenners spending so much money. {fastbreakblog}

hockey does this to people.  that’s why jews don’t dig it. {youtube}

for you gentiles, here’s what hockey hypists are saying is the save of the decade. {youtube}

how come “that guy” is in every good picture you’ve ever seen.  don’t be “that guy”. {college humor}

if the indians are going to steal our jobs, we’re going to steal their language. {youtube}

it hurts my gonads when i think about how much i miss elvis:

flatusyahu.com contributor LarryKingJolson has been appointed Night Desk editor. We hope you’ll treat him with the respect and dignity he deserves.

alyssa milano is a dirty, hairy bushed little whore. god, i love her. {on205th}

how long after he catches his first touchdown pass with the montreal alouettes will it take for the charles rogers for lito sheppard and a first round pick rumors to begin? {tiricosuave}

do survivor contestants shave their pubes? how do they stem the tide of menstruation? banana leaves? doesn’t matter….we’d happily earn our red wings in the jungle with amanda…who apparently isn’t going to survive in the women of survivor final four. {cuzoogle}

i don’t care how many people danica patrick runs over and nearly kills as long as sports illustrated keeps showing me her lady humps. {huggingharoldreynolds}

if you’re like me, friday nights aren’t nearly as satisfying now that www.beasttube.com went out of business.

who gets laid more, team mascots or mort, the seventy-year old guy who guards the phillies dugout at citizens bank park? {awfulannouncing}

we hear don turkeyneck, cowboys owner jerry jones, wants to sign latarian milton as soon as roger goodell reinstates him. {brahsome}

no matter how much i may have hated him over the years, i was genuinely sorry to learn that nationals catcher paul lo duca has cancer.

oops. that should read paul lo duca IS a cancer. just as we suspected. {misterirrelevant}

reno mahe is a disgraced mormon. koren robinson is a disgraced first round pick. reno mahe runs a 4.7 forty. koren robinson runs a 4.4 forty. reno mahe is more reliable, but koren robinson has better hair. another tough decision for big red. {epiccarnival}

watching the phillies play the giants tonight, i’m hearing tom mccarthy say there are large number of phillies fans at the game in san fran tonight. if san fran has a very large population of gay people. and a lot of phillies fans are in san fran. doesn’t this mean a lot of phillies fans are gay?

don’t hate me because i recall enjoying that this song was playing the first time i ever ate at the “y”:

let’s hope that the philadelphia eagles cheerleaders commitment to natural beauty doesn’t extend to their armpits or their pubes.  {on205th}

we guess getting a blowjob from a Utah Jazz cheerleader is out of the question, then? {deseretnews}

share the road with bikers?  fuck that. {sydneymorningnews}

we didn’t want to look at the MLB rookie in a hooters costume.  but we did.  {bugehoobs}

buzz bissinger is apparently crafting the NFL’s strategy dealing with Bengals bloggers. {gate21}

no matter how hard you push your kid, he’s not going to unseat this soccer goalie. {youtube}

why don’t you buy your mom some Vulva Fragrance for mother’s day?  No?  {reichmichund}

or maybe she’d prefer this.  {stevenhumuor}

here’s the best version we’ve ever heard of this frat-party classic:

if we can’t spend the rest of our lives with Sarah Lacy, we’ll settle for Without A Trace star Roselyn Sanchez. {on205th}

cuz’ rolls out another version of The Seven…this time a list of seven must-see summer movies. {cuzoogle}

EC’s photoshop-of-the-day editor is finally out of rehab and has come back strong with this hilarious selection. {epiccarnival}

here’s a picture of thegasman in a speedo. enjoy while eating your favorite high-calorie treat. {wallout}

the times is willie with the latest developments in the Patriots spygate scandal. {nytimes}

with the money baller’s make these days, you gonna tell us the White Sox couldn’t afford a Real Doll? {sportshubris}

here’s our apology to sportstsar for excluding their logo from our list of Top Ten Sports Blog Logos…cause we dig any logo with a reference to the bolsheviks….and here’s sportstsar’s list of the best sports-based commercials of the year. {sportstsar}

speaking of speedos, pete rose is even scarier in his than the gasman. but at least he was wearing his in 1983. {razztastic}

the sooner you acknowledge that you like this song, the faster you can move on with the rest of your life:

here’s another version:
Read the rest of this entry »

our starting lead-off hitter seams to have a fixation on jennifer aniston. she DOES still look good in a bikini. {on205th}

have NBA nicknames declined at the same rate as airline customer service? {collegeiseasy}

who knew the coal miner’s daughter was a playa in motocross? {sickmx}

water. dirt bike. high speeds. {gizmodo}

in our humble opinion, basketball is secondary to hot dancing broads during the NBA playoffs. {coedmagazine}

apparently we need to do more to help our pampered and spoiled student athletes be more successful in the classroom. {espn}

here you will find one of the best blog names on the planet AND one of the best written mock drafts we’ve ever read. {veganfishtacos}

Eight Belles may be dead, but her “people” have extracted revenge. {liveleak}

you and two of your friends can win a chance to be physically and mentally humiliated play three-on-three with Ron Artest, Joakim Noah and Nate Robinson. {tvweek}

blog mogul Harvey Bars has an indecent proposal for (and a great picture of) Scarlett Johansson. {tiricosuave)

we remain proud of flatusyahu.com contributing editor PhizzEd’s work as Richard Nixon in this Tom Petty & The HB’s video:

when the whole poker thing runs its course, ESPN can turn to Fire Soccer. {on205th}

we tried to vote in the Babes of Survivor contest, but we had an erection that lasted more than four hours and had to go to the hospital. you try. {cuzoogle}

celtics/hawks framed in the context of the world’s best ever bad movie, The Warriors. {epiccarnival}

this robber is perhaps two or three months premature in his selection of robbery victims {chicagotribune}

this is probably the strangest goddamn thing we’ve ever seen. {hubpages}

would you buy a house from this alleged whore woman? {bittenandbound}

don’t be surprised if Miss Kentucky winds up tied up in Randy Moss’ basement.  {celebridiot}

Bono says The Arcade Fire is the most interesting band on the planet.  We agree:

we’re bitter that Bar Refaeli didn’t make it….but the Sexiest Woman in the World FINAL FOUR has been set. {on205th}

even if you don’t dig on swine, we’re sure you will enjoy this bacon art. {holy taco}

are you…..experienced? jimi hendrix was….and has a sex tape to prove it. {fleshbot}

she’s got bodacious ta-ta’s….but we’re not hitting selma hayek if she insists on growing a beard. {drunkenstepfather}

is former Kentucky Derby winner War Emblem gay? not that there’s anything wrong with that. {donchavez}

pacman’s house for sale. head lice included with a full price offer {espn}

bad pizza. bad publicity. PAPA JOHNS! {yahoosports}

this is EXACTLY the kind of sick boarding that pushed BIG Z into retirement. {sickvideos}

you’re not gay (but probably slightly sensitive) if you dig this song: