Barack Obama is riding a new wave of popularity after his campaign announced a plan to “make love, not carbon emissions”.

Rejecting a bi-partisan backed proposal to offer American’s a “gas tax holiday”, Obama countered with his own plan.

“Americans need to fornicate with each other….or, when necessary….with themselves”, declared Obama to a crowd of enthusiastic nudists at a Rockingham, NC pep rally. “The ‘gasoline tax holiday’ is a cheap political trick offered by Senators McClain and Clinton as a solution to our nation’s energy crisis. It will not fix the fundamental supply and demand problem that has been causing prices to rise so rapidly. As long as people keep consuming as much gasoline as they have….prices will rise.

I strongly urge people to stay home and have sex….with their spouses, with their neighbors, with their pets, with themselves…..whatever it takes to keep them out of their cars. Make love…not carbon emissions!”

Obama rival Hillary Clinton condemned his plan as irresponsible.

“My husband proved that sex is part of the problem, not part of the solution. I urge all women to keep their legs together and their feet on the gas pedal.”

Senator McCain’s wife Cindy would not allow him to comment on this story.

WASHINGTON - Cindy McCain says she will never make her tax returns public even if her husband wins the White House and she becomes the first lady dominatrix.

YES MISTRESS!!!

“You know, my husband and I have been married 28 years and we have filed separate tax returns for 28 years. This is a privacy issue. My husband is the candidate,” Cindy McCain, wife of Republican presidential nominee-in-waiting John McCain, said in an interview aired on NBC’s “Today” on Thursday.

Asked if she would release her tax returns if she was first lady, Cindy McCain said: “No.”

YES MISTRESS!!!

The Arizona senator released his tax return last month, reporting he had a total income of $405,409 in 2007 and paid $84,460 in federal income taxes. He files his return separately from his wife, an heiress to a Phoenix-based beer distributing company whose fortune is in the $100 million range.

Sen. McCain is routinely is ranked among the richest lawmakers in Congress, but he and his wife have kept their finances separate throughout their marriage. A prenuptial agreement left much of the family’s assets in Cindy McCain’s name.

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean said Cindy McCain’s refusal to release her tax returns gives the appearance of a double standard on the part of her husband.

“What is John McCain trying to hide?” Dean said in a statement. “Throughout this campaign, he has acted like his own calls for openness and accountability apply to everyone but himself. Now he thinks he can bring that same double standard to the White House.”

HOWARD DEAN, YOU’RE NOT WORTHY TO DIRECTLY ADDRESS THE MISTRESS!!!!

Democrats Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton filed joint tax returns with their spouses and publicly released those returns.

{via AP}