wait…what?

While a nation rejoices (Redskins Nation, that is), the rest of the NFC East mourns the passing of the career of Washington Cabana Boy, Vinny Cerrato.  If you’re an Eagles, Giants or Cowboys fan, you find yourself extremely sad this morning that you will be deprived of future decades of your team playing against Cerrato-built teams. 

Fear not though, NFC East fans, Cerrato is being replaced by Bruce Allen who, along with Jon Gruden, took all the credit for winning a championship with Tony Dungy and Rich McKay’s players in Tampa Bay….then proceeded to flush the entire franchise down the toilet where it remains to this very day.  (Allen’s last two first round draft picks in Tampa were Gaines Adams and Aqib Talib.  roflmao!)

You will be missed, Vinny.  Sorely and dearly missed.

You knew someone was going to be held accountable for Manny Ramirez taking an early shower during Game Four of the NLCS….and you had to know that it wasn’t going to be Manny.

Turns out, it’s Jamie McCourt….soon to be divorced wife of Dodger owner and Angela’s Ashes author Frank McCort.  We made up that last part.  The guy who wrote Angela’s Ashes is named Frank McCourt….but he’s not the same douchewaffle Dodgers owner who just fired his wife. We also made up the part about her taking showers with Manny.  Manny only showers with Manny.

Why did McCourt fire his wife?  From the looks of this picture, we’re guessing it’s because she wouldn’t give him field-box head.

News of Joe Torre’s new book “The Yankee Years” is going to lead to some fun in the blogosphere. No doubt about that. Your own teammates call you A-Fraud? Better than what most of us call him I guess.

Good luck Jim Schwartz, you are going to need it.

We’ve always thought there was a similarity there. And not just because neither can take a shower like a normal person.

With news that TO has Gin Blossoms or Black Crowes playing on his ipod, we certainly look at that infamous breakdown in a new light. Not that’s there’s anything wrong with that.

Hey Now!

Long before Ryan Howard went yard (twice)…..long before J-Dub hit his two-run bomb…..and long before Joe “Joe the Farmer” Blanton closed his eyes, swung hard and made World Series history…..the bowels of the Phil’s run-producing machine was still clogged up with tension, futility and meak infield grounders.

Then came Pedro Feliz.

The bottom of the third started like many Phillies innings this World Series….with runners getting in scoring position (Chase Utley on an error, Ryan Howard on a single) and nobody out.  This, of course, was a cue for Joe Buck and Tim McCarver to spew new and interesting facts about the Phillies historic inability to plate runs.

Weak pop outs by Pat Burrell and Shane Victorino only seemed to intesify the strength of Buck’s erection.  He seemed genuinely excited to be witnessing such futility.

Then came Pedro Feliz.  (we like this line so much, we’ve said it twice now)

Feliz stroked a single to left field, scoring Utley, and the air in Joe Buck’s LOB-Boner deflated before our very eyes.

System unclogged.  Game on.  Let freedom ring.  Tensions were eased, confidence restored and the rest, as they say, is history.  Without the weight of the world on his shoulders, Ryan Howard was able just pound the shit out of balls left and right (literally), Joe Blanton was able to find his “Manny Ramirez Place” and Jason Werth, who has struck out more times than PhizzEd at the Bunny Ranch, was able to look cool missing Davey Lopes’ high-five after his two-run dinger.

And it all started because…….”then came Pedro Feliz”.

(AsininePress) Pittsburgh, PA - The Pittsburgh Steelers have placed Rashard Mendenhall (hands) on the Physically Unable to Hold the Ball List.

We’re just saying.