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Archive for the ‘footballgas’ Category

Jenn Sterger Second Overrated Superstar to Join Jets This Week….

Published: August 13th, 2008

……as team emphasizes tits (Sterger) and ass (Favre) over football. [bustedcoverage]

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Kyle Orton to Play NFL Season with Beer Goggles….

Published: August 6th, 2008

….after giving them a thorough tryout in the offseason.  we bet he drunk dials, too. [bustedcoveage]

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Messica Simpson: Dolly Parton is Like the President to Me

Published: July 31st, 2008
Messica Simpson and Her Pal George Bush

Messica Simpson and Her Pal George Bush

wonder what that makes george bush?  (don’t answer that)

yup.  messica really said that.  courtesy of perezhilton, here’s the context:

Here’s an exclusive excerpt from her interview!

On her life changing incident:
“I was singing ‘9 to 5’ and I choked and forgot the words in front of the president and in front of Dolly Parton, who’s like the president to me. And the last time I sang in front of the president , I had messed up the lyrics to ‘God Bless America’ so its kind of a thing I have with George W. Anyway, I broke down and said I’m sorry in front of the whole audience. My dad was there. I looked him in the face and said, ‘I will never sing again.’ “

On feeling like America’s most wanted:
“So many people want to bring me down, and I can’t wait to prove them wrong. If they believe what they read about me, they automatically persecute and torment me.”

On her father and manager, Joe Simpson, running his daughter’s love life and career:
“That’s Ludicrous. He just wants me to be happy. Our whole family gets beaten, but that just brings us closer. So people are really doing themselves a disservice.”

On her rocky love life:
“I was going through a lot of pain. I didn’t try anything to change my life other than dating different types of guys and conforming to their worlds. I thought I had to be artsier, more intellectual.”

On her relationship with John Mayer:
“John believed in the Jessica Simpson that’s within. He cherished our love. He helped make me t he woman I am today. John is going to be an amazing man for someone, but I know that I was supposed to be with someone else.”

On recording a song about abuse:
“I had to record that. There’s nothing on my album that you’re gonna hear that I don’t relate to or that I haven’t experienced. Because the only way I know how to sing is from life experience. I don’t want to talk about it, but I have definitely experienced abuse in away that I would tell people to take their heart and run.”

On Tony Romo:
“Most of the guys I dated were captivated by my heart but they had different ways of trying to get to me. Tony understands me. He appreciates my talent. He’s the first person I’ve spiritually connected with. I’m a girl that loves to be in love. I love love!”

h/t perez hilton

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BustedCoverage: Robert Kraft Pimps Post-Pubescent Cheerleader for Ten Bucks a Pop

Published: July 30th, 2008

as an irish-jew, i’m shocked and outraged that new england patriot’s owner robert kraft is pimping out an 18 year-old cheerleader for $10 a pop.

a savvy heeb would have started the bidding at $25.

bustedcoverage with the details.

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Kid spelled backwards?

Published: July 29th, 2008

So what’s up with the Big Kid Shawn Andrews, unexcused absence from Eagles camp? We don’t know, but rumors go swirling about and we thought we’d look into it.

(Why block out the other guys face? Who knows, it wasn’t rocket science to find his myspace page) So the scenario has come about that MAYBE the Big Kid is gay and won’t come out of the Vito Spatafore gay club. Now mind, you the rumors are pretty much made up rumors that get labeled rumors and gain some momentum, but once we saw this picture, rumor or not, it got us thinking of some similarities to one of our favorite TV gay guys, Vito Spatafore. And we can start by saying, we love the gays. We employ KBF don’t we? So this ain’t a bashing thread. Just some fun. We envision it played out like so:
Read the rest of this entry »

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Pre-Order Maddening ‘09 Here

Published: July 29th, 2008

h/t phizzed

hey!  we need your vote:  with which team would brett favre most tarnish his image?

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Free Bon Jovi, Bitches!

Published: July 28th, 2008

first and foremost, congrats to the philadelphia soul for winning their first championship.  anyone who’s ever played a ten-player sit-n-go at party poker will tell you that winning anything can be difficult.  so mad props for winning the arena bowl!  and free bon jovi to boot!  woohooo!

the philadelphia daily news, in reporting the victory, has asked if this means the city’s 25 year championship-less run is over.  are they fucking smoking crack?

take a looks at these screencaps from the biggest sports sites on the planet.  as you will see, the sotry of the soul’s championship is buried on si.com and espn.com and not even reported on foxsports.com.  here are some stories that had a higher profile than the arena bowl:

  • china using underage gymnasts (wuh?)
  • former arizona st. golfer gets first pga tour win (wuh?)
  • golden state warriors ink andris biedrins to new contract (wuh?)

this information should answer the question.  while a nice, feel-good story for the soul and the city, this is nothing more than a nice diversion on the road to further civic humiliation at the hands of the city’s professional sports teams (see rollins, jimmy).

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Belichick Signs Lamont Jordan; Stakes Claim as Al Davis’s Heir Apparent

Published: July 27th, 2008

apparently bill belichick and the patriots won’t be satisfied until demand for boston reefer catches up with the supply side.  by bringing lamont jordan aboard to team with randy moss…..things are looking up on the front.

used to be that al davis would take the talented but unruly of the nfl and bring them to the raiders where he would rehabilitate their careers (if not their lifestyles) and churn out championship caliber teams.  now, he brings them to o-town where they fail miserably, smoke some sticky green and eventually get waived after helping the raiderettes to two or three win seasons.

this is where coach bill comes in.  he waits until davis pays the huge signing bonuses then grabs these talented bodies off the pavement at bargain basement prices (the filene’s basement of football, if you will).

but how much is too much?  after a period of time, oakland became less of a refuge and more of a half-way house. the raiders went from perennial contenders to perennial top three draft positions.

when does this all come back to bite belichick and the patriots in the ass?  when do the randy moss’s and lamont jordan’s and brandon merriweather’s become a problem for the world’s #1 sports franchise?

when does karma intervene and tilt the tables on a franchise that takes on so many personnel risks, that uses technology to cheat, that runs up the score on the saintly joe gibbs?

if you’re a fan of the 31 nfl teams not located in massachusetts…..you hope it’s really damn soon.

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Fame Whore Resigns as Arena League Commish

Published: July 26th, 2008

wow, nothing like using a pre-championship game press conference to declare that john elway is your good buddy and that you never meant to stay so long and you’re leaving.

arena football league commish david baker shocked the seventeen-member arena football fan community by announcing he’s bolting….just two days before jon bon jovi’s soul attempt to bring a championship…..ANY kind of championship……back to titlelesstown, aka philadelphia.

nice timing, david baker.  nice.

ap story here.

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B-Dub Keeps Camp Appointment

Published: July 25th, 2008

good for eagles superstar RB brian westbrook.  despite all the agent drama, he manned-up, like any proud villanova grad, and showed up for training camp.  he doesn’t sound to happy… and he still wants a new contract…..but he sounds like he’s going to do the right thing.

if only brett favre would do the righ thing and go buy a john deere tractor or something.

westbrook interview here.

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