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Archive for the ‘SoccerGas’ Category

Adidas Uses Jabulani Technology To Create Perfect Soccer Fan Breasts

Published: July 10th, 2010

By now we’ve all read (here, here, here and….even the wee people get in on the act…..here), ad nauseum, about the failings of the Adidas Jabulani soccer ball being used at the World Cup. The seamless technology, blah blah blah, creates knuckling conditions at a certain, blah blah blah, speed. Etc., etc., etc.

But, what if the Jabulani seamless technology could be applied to breast implants? The unsightly scars on exotic dancers? GONE! And who wouldn’t want unpredictable bouncing of Jabulani Boobs when receiving a lap dance???

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Much Gayness: North Korean Palms Ivory Coaster’s Balls

Published: June 25th, 2010

You\'ve got your peanut butter in my chocolate

Not that there’s anything wrong with it….

Who can blame the North Korean. Where he comes from, Ivory Coast Balls are a delicacy. Of course, anything not made of stone is a delicacy in North Korea.

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Topless Chick Checks out Andrea Pirio’s Buttocks

Published: July 23rd, 2008

[image via famepictures]

dang it feels like we went to an awful lot of trouble to show you a topless chick checking out a.c. milan footballer andrea pirio, who was on a beach in st. barth’s with his family unit.

first we had to cut out his kids.  then we had to cut out his package.  cause that’s how we roll.  we even had to cut out another topless chick, cause the kids were in her frame.  whew.  that was a lot of work.

but check out that broads nipples!  they are super chewy!

the smile on your face tells us it was worth the effort.

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Cristiano Public Penis Play

Published: July 21st, 2008

if we’ve said it once, we’ve said it a million times:  weenis humor is good shit.

here we have soccer star cristiano ronaldo playing the fiddle whilst sitting next to a dude in a speedo.  hmmm.  casts some serious doubt on his credentials as a ladies man.

maybe he’s on the downlow?  i mean, it would be one thing to rub one off if surrounded by the beautiful babies.  but at a sausage party?

we think not.

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Why Soccer is Different Than American Sports

By: tedSIZEmoreMATTERS
Published: July 10th, 2008

“We should also protect the player and if the player wants to play somewhere else, then a solution should be found,” Blatter said. “Because if he stays in a club where he does not feel comfortable to play then it’s not good for the player and for the club … I’m always in favor to protect the player and if the player, he wants to leave, let him leave.”

-FIFA President Sepp Blatter

imagine roger goodell coming out today and saying this about brett favre?  well that would be kinda equal to what fifa’s sepp blatter told the press yesterday about manU player cristiano ronaldo wanting to leave for real madrid.  that story here.

what?  you’re pissed there are no pictures?

another reason soccer is different, with pictures, here.

and here.

and here.

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Drunk Soccer Ref in Belarus

Published: July 10th, 2008

we’re not sure that this is the same drunk soccer ref written about by si.com, but in the spirit of buzz bissinger (fast AND inaccurate), we’re going to link them together anyway.

(this dude walks like adam eaton pitches.)

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To The Victors Go The Nipples

By: tedSIZEmoreMATTERS
Published: June 30th, 2008

[image via zv-magazine]

apparently some kind of soccer match was played yesterday.

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The Idiot’s Guide to Getting David Beckham to Pose for a Picture

Published: June 29th, 2008

[image via WENN]

Chapter 1:  Possess huge breasts.

Class is dismissed.

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Alex Curran Milf-a-thon Rages On in Miami

Published: June 16th, 2008

[all images via MAVRIXONLINE]

we’re pretty sure Alex Curran is flirting with us. every since Steven Gerard’s wifey caught whiff of our post about their trip to Miami, she’s worn less clothing every day.

let’s just say we don’t mind. and let’s also remind you that the owner of this bod has had two babies in the last four years. to that we say:

HEY NOW!

Read the rest of this entry »

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Report: Chelsea’s Avram Grant Sacked For Team Being Too “Jewish” with the Goals

By: tedSIZEmoreMATTERS
Published: May 24th, 2008

nah. just kidding,

but israeli grant WAS sacked after coming up just short in the Champion’s League Final.

and his team WAS a bit stingy with the goal scoring.

story here.v

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