kyle busch, leader of la revolucion, won ANOTHER race, this time the Coke Zero 400, a thriller featuring extra laps, a last lap pile up and a neck and neck finish.
busch, the world’s best stock car driver and the man you dale earnhardt jr sycophants (it really is a word, rednecks, lookerup) love to hate, overcame beaucoup problems with his car to nip carl “the carl” edwards when the field was frozen during a final lap caution.
dale earnhardt, jr….as is his tradition, finished in the top ten….good enough for the TV types to mention his name….not good enough to be a factor. let’s face it….despite hendrick throwing ALL KINDS of money on making junior a winner….it’s just not happening. listen to junior whine about how wimpy mark martin is for not giving him a hand at the end of the race. wahhhhhhh!
citizenbusch, chronicler of La Revolucion (aka The Rowdy Revolution), was stunned to learn today that Richard Childress is allowing a driver to use the most hallowed of hallowed ground in race car driving, the #3 car made famous by Dale Earnhardt, a number which seemingly had been permanently retired. even dale earnhardt, jr. during his free-agency tour last year couldn’t talk Childress into parting with the number.
so who did Childress give up the number for? his eighteen year-old grandson, Austin Dillon, a driver in WRASCAR’s development series.
the crooked #3 and black paint scheme had been retired since big e’s fatal crash at the 2001 daytona500. many in the sports world felt that this number would never be used again….at least not by anyone not named earnhardt.
think of it this way: who would want to wear the #23 for the chicago bulls? the #99 in hockey? the snake glasses at the world series of poker? now imagine if michael jordan, wayne gretzky and greg raymer were all dead…..THAT is what this is like. it would be hard enough wearing the number of a LIVING icon, let alone a sainted, tragically deceased icon.
(this is a good moment to pause during this tirade to recognize the passing of spock, the pointy-eared dog. he was a good dog who tolerated shady ownership.)
back to #3. according to the virginia-pilot, dillon, whose father was a racer who now works for Childress, is an up-and-comer and his grandfather simply couldn’t say no to him. that’s pretty fucked up, don’t you think? isn’t that kind of like george steinbrenner saying he can’t say no to his grandkids when they ask if they can use thurmon munson’s uniform for little league?
(we pause again to recognize tony stewart for his nationwide win today…and high-fives to mrs. dupes, friend of the ‘hu and one of smoke’s biggest fans)
getting back to austin dillon…we’re asked to believe that the good news is that dillon, like earnhardt, is extremely aggressive as evidenced by his coaches asking him to tone it down in youth soccer!
peeshaw!!!! we can’t make this stuff up!
read about the whole mess here. write to childress. write to congress. write to somebody. anybody. this has to be stopped.
we have a habit of letting the record of the leader of La Revolucion, Citizen Busch, speak for itself…so when dupes launched an all out congratupalooza for dale earnhardt jr last week….we just sat back quietly.
you’ll remember that jr. had not won a race of any kind since the sack race at his fourth grade field day in the early nineties (and even that was a restrictor plate race) before he finally took the checkered flag last week while the rest of the field was gassing up and hitting the pottie. congrats on that win, jr.
yes…it’s true that it’s been almost a month since kyle busch had won a sprint car race. almost a month. goddamn, that’s 1/24th the losing streak that jr. had.
but we digress.
good racing fans all over the globe (including the ones pictured above in moscow) took to the streets tonight to celebrate Citizen Busch’s FIFTH win THIS SEASON at sonoma. if you’re keeping score, Rowdy has now won races on all kinds of surfaces, all kinds of track configurations, against all kinds of moe’s. most often, he has been seen kicking jr.’s ass all over the asphalt.
if dale earnhardt (god rest his blessed soul) was the intimidator….then busch is the dominateor. book it danno.
yeah….this was supposed to be a post about dale jr. being EXPOSED as a FRAUD. but jr. (along with the trusty casio calculator of tony eury jr.) went and ruined that by winning the lifelock400…jr’s first win since 1926.
we’ll move forward and start mocking tony stewart next week….but we want to take the time to congratulate all those in jr. nation who finally got a return on their investment of all that amp energy drink they’ve been guzzlin.
you know who you are.
back to the headline….a couple of nascar officials have been suspended indefinitely for exposing themselves to coworker mauricia grant, who is suing nascar for 225 million (or half the amount of money hendrick motorsports has spent trying to make dale jr. competitive).
mauricia, it’s called taking a piss. us guys do that sometimes.
Poor Gasman. Beautiful, brilliant Gasman. Wanting to swim in the big water with all the other Wrascar fans.
Our leader suggested that, after blowing a tire, the driver of Rocket 88 dipped into some nachos and downed an AMP energy drink before deciding to peel his car off the wall. His behaviour in this instance mirrors that of the driver of the 18 car earlier this year. Thats one thing about a blown tire…that hotrod will take you anywhere IT wants to go…
Legendary race executive Humpy Wheeler, President and General Manager of Lowes Motor Speedway, resigned today after a distuingished career as a pioneer in motorsports promotion.
In making the announcement…..Wheeler took the time to compare the leader of La Revolucion, Kyle Bush with the former leader of the free world, Dale Earnhardt Sr:
“The biggest thing that worries me about racing in the future is we don’t get the great race drivers,” Wheeler said. “That we leave out the next Kyle Busch or the next Dale Earnhardt Sr. because a guy can’t afford to race and gets stuck in the cornfields of Iowa.”
Hendrick Motorsports manbabies were out in force last night at Darlington after Citizen18 whipped their asses all over the Lady in Black.
If it was Jeff Gordon whining about “being so dang competitive” it was Dale Earnhardt Jr. complaining that CuzinTony changed his A-frame without his knowledge and didn’t tell him after the race.
We’ll do some more Hendrick-hatin’ later in the day….for now…..we’re just going to celebrate the Rowdy Revolution for a couple more hours.
kyle busch, leader of la revolucion, won ANOTHER race, this time the Coke Zero 400, a thriller featuring extra laps, a last lap pile up and a neck and neck finish.
