[image via wenn]
while most all-stars were paraded around gotham surrounded by their families, gayrod made do with this straight-from-american-gothic rent-a-kin. (no doubt from the pinkerton agency).
don’t get us wrong…we’ve all been there. transfixed by a piece of booty we’re following around, we become obvlivious to the fact that our head is tilted at a perfect 42.7 degree angle and that everyone on the planet knows we’re mind-munching a some ass. we just didn’t think GayRod had it in him. david beckham ass? yes. hot chick on streets of gotham ass? let’s just say we’re surprised he was interested.
Hey now! si.com’s Tom Verducci has a neato review of the important ON FIELD plotlines for the first half of the baseball season. But crazy stuff has happened OFF THE FIELD. THAT, my friends, is our end of the business. Here are the top off the field stories of the first half of the baseball season:
1. Roger Clemens throws his best friend under the bus.
Clemens’ Capitol Hill testimony that his friend, Andy Pettite was either a liar, a dummy, or both was startling on so many different levels. Most of us thought that Clemens and Pettite were super-tight. To see Clemens backed into a corner and turn on his friend, who testified that they BOTH used HGH, was amazing. It makes you wonder what planet Clemens is from.
2. A-Rod “misremembers” he’s married to a pregnant woman.
We thought gayrod’s marriage was kaput when he was caught with the peeler in Toronto. Apparently wife Cynthia was in a forgiving mood back then. Or, more likely, she was building more ammunition against the allegedly morally-confused Yankee Slipper. Whatever….Cynthia drew the line at Gayrod declaring Madonner “his f*cking soulmate, man“. Dude….that’s just gay.
3. Is Manny Ramirez gonna have to choke a traveling secretary?
Clubhouse violence is back in vogue in 2008 after a ten-year sabbatical following the Great Latrell Sprewell Peace Treaty of 1997. Two physical altercations in one month captured the attention of an MMA-mad world.
This one, involving Planet Manny Ramirez, happened when he couldn’t score as many comped tickets as he wanted. So he shoved longtime Sox traveling secretary, Jack McCormick to the ground. Hey….he said he was sorry.
4. Is Shawn Chacon gonna have to choke a GM?
Two things make Shawn Chacon’s takedown of Astros GM Ed Wade worse than the Manny Ramirez incident.
First and foremost, Shawn Chacon sucks. Dudes who suck as bad as Chacon should step-n-fetch, not argue with club officials. The guys was being demoted for having an ERA above 5.00 and almost as many walks as strikeouts. He should have offered to cut Ed Wade’s food into tiny little pieces so the little guy could more easily chew his food……anything…..ANYTHING to contribute to the team.
Second, he choked Ed Wade. Choking a small, bespectled ivy-league educated man is a cowardly act. It doesn’t matter how incompetent Ed Wade is…..you don’t choke the little midget. Phillies fans have wanted to choke the man for years, and we resisted. We still have jobs (most of us). Chacon does not. End of story. Read the rest of this entry »
[images via mavrixonline]
the key piece of marital property (besides his nipple clamps) at the center of the gayrod/cuntrod divorce proceedings figures to be their miami mansion, shown above.
according to mavrixonline, the waterfront property located in Coral Gables has 6 bedrooms and 9 bathrooms and boasts dockage for two boats, a tennis court and swimming pool. (we said dockage)
According to the divorce filing, cuntrod (cynthia….sorry, we should have pointed that out earlier), wants ownership of the mansion and the maybach, seen parked in the driveway (pix below).
