Messica Simpson and Her Pal George Bush

wonder what that makes george bush?  (don’t answer that)

yup.  messica really said that.  courtesy of perezhilton, here’s the context:

Here’s an exclusive excerpt from her interview!

On her life changing incident:
“I was singing ‘9 to 5’ and I choked and forgot the words in front of the president and in front of Dolly Parton, who’s like the president to me. And the last time I sang in front of the president , I had messed up the lyrics to ‘God Bless America’ so its kind of a thing I have with George W. Anyway, I broke down and said I’m sorry in front of the whole audience. My dad was there. I looked him in the face and said, ‘I will never sing again.’ “

On feeling like America’s most wanted:
“So many people want to bring me down, and I can’t wait to prove them wrong. If they believe what they read about me, they automatically persecute and torment me.”

On her father and manager, Joe Simpson, running his daughter’s love life and career:
“That’s Ludicrous. He just wants me to be happy. Our whole family gets beaten, but that just brings us closer. So people are really doing themselves a disservice.”

On her rocky love life:
“I was going through a lot of pain. I didn’t try anything to change my life other than dating different types of guys and conforming to their worlds. I thought I had to be artsier, more intellectual.”

On her relationship with John Mayer:
“John believed in the Jessica Simpson that’s within. He cherished our love. He helped make me t he woman I am today. John is going to be an amazing man for someone, but I know that I was supposed to be with someone else.”

On recording a song about abuse:
“I had to record that. There’s nothing on my album that you’re gonna hear that I don’t relate to or that I haven’t experienced. Because the only way I know how to sing is from life experience. I don’t want to talk about it, but I have definitely experienced abuse in away that I would tell people to take their heart and run.”

On Tony Romo:
“Most of the guys I dated were captivated by my heart but they had different ways of trying to get to me. Tony understands me. He appreciates my talent. He’s the first person I’ve spiritually connected with. I’m a girl that loves to be in love. I love love!”

h/t perez hilton

has there ever been a more fearsome foursome than paul pierce, ray allen, kevin garnett and larrykingjolson?

jessica simpson breathed a sigh of relief to find out that, although she doesn’t have tony romo anymore, she still has nipples.  there’s more simpson breast self-exam madness at on205th.

we really, really, really, really like #44 at the Jet’s cheerleader tryouts.  {withleather}

in canada, we’ve found the fountain of poon:  cuzoogle’s THE SEVEN features oodles of pictures of his favorite DEAL OR NO DEAL babies.

shakespeare dimaggio is gay for o.j. mayo.  {tiricosuave}

WOI is waxing nostalgic about the days when Jessica Alba was available and stretch-mark free.  {worldofisaac}

DNA testing will prove that the semen on her cap and gown is not from a duke lacrosse player. {brahsome}

the daily gizmodo:  what to get the girl who’s afraid of fried tits.

Susan Waldman’s femininity ain’t buried there, but according to Shooter…Bernie Williams and eleven other unusual things are buried at Yankee Stadium. {epiccarnival}{fivetooltool}

not since milt thompson platooned with pete incaviglia in ‘93 has black and white worked so well together: