Tired of watching his team cough up two goal leads, Flyers owner Ed Snider took immediate action by firing popular Head Coach, John Stevens.

“I cannot just sit here, game after game, season after season, decade after decade, and watch us continually cough up two goal leads!” said an angry Snider.

“We were very fortunate that a coach of Larry Brown’s caliber suddenly became available” Snider continued, “If he hadn’t resigned from the Sixers, we would likely be doomed to staying the course with Stevens”.

When confronted with the fact that Brown was already an employee of his and therefore had been available to coach all along, Snider snapped, “You Philadelphia media-types are all alike….you don’t know a God-damn thing about being a Jew in a Catholic town filled with underemployed Negros!!!!”

Brown, who presumably IS Jewish, stated “I’ll expect these kids to play basketball the right way or they won’t be here.”

When reminded that he is coaching a hockey team, Brown replied, “Hey…I’m not going to mince words…if they won’t play basketball the right way, they won’t be here.”

In a related move, the Flyers signed former Temple point guard Aaron McKie to a 7-year, $21 million dollar contract.