on205th: nothing says “my second career choice is to be a stripper” like changing your bearded clam juice soaked pantaloons in front of 20,000 people.
gratuitous link to monster site of the day, bustedcoverage: nothing says you’re a five tool athlete like doing beer bongs in your track uniform.
yepyep.gibbs12: nothing says you’re lying when you say “no homo” like being a fan of latte art.
bannedinhollywood: nothing says there are still lots of good potential sports team names left like the NEW ORLEANS LOOTERS.
cuzoogle: nothing says you wish you were african-american (or, in this case, african-canadian) like naming only chicks with huge (but still pretty fucking nice) asses to your list of top seven celebrity booties.
tiricosuave: nothing says you often mistake your pillow for a bitch like claiming to lose your virginity at the age of six.
gratuitous link to monster site of the day, part 2, ns4w: nothing says you can still have a nice piece of celebrity ass without having to deal with joe simpson like carrie underwood in a bikini.
gratuitous link to monster site of the day, part 3, deadspin: nothing says that you’re a pre(or post)diabetic racist bitterly toiling for a dying media outlet like hating on the idea of dan patrick on sunday night football. or football night in america. or whatever the fuck it’s called.
donchavez: nothing says you’ve reached the pinnacle of the coaching profession like having a big-tittied blonde as a post-divorce rebound.
fivetooltool: nothing says even bloggers who don’t show tittie and cameltoe are guilty of bad taste like suggesting the new OKC nba team be named “the bombers”.
kissingsuzykolber: nothing says funbags trump footballs like one of our fave sports sites introducing the now mandatory sex fridays.
brightblackinternet: nothing says china will someday rule the entire world like them requiring their pole dancers to be better trained than our teachers.
the daily gizmodo: nothing says the segway will change the world by killing people, one accident at a time, like conducting a crash test.
nothing says that you’re too old to hit a usc song girl like hearing this song on a mix tape you found in the basement:
FINAL NOTICE: YOUR ACCOUNT WILL BE SUSPENDED IF YOU DO NOT RESPOND:
like baseball? got mad photoshop skillz? just plain mad? get your ass over to epiccarnival where they are holding a baseball photoshop contest, with the winner taking home their choice of $1,667.50 Thai Bhats, 58,175 Tanzanian Shillings, 5,410 Japanese Yen, 167 Israeli Shekels, 3,428 Bangladeshi Takas or 24,972 Chilean Pesos.
on205th is circulating the conspiracy theory that because naked women are beginning to pop in mainstream women’s magazines, that means most mainstream women are secretly lesbian. WE LIKE IT!
retief goosen now looks like an assclown. {worldofisaac}
we’ve batted around and we’re back to our lead-off hitter, on205th who, with the publishing of the above image of Kate Beckinsale’s lump ass, has provided dramatic and damaging evidence that either ballot box was as stuffed as Ms. Beckinsale’s ass or a technological error resulted in her being named the sexiest woman on the planet over bar rafaeli.
the daily gizmodo: good news is there’s a 108″ flat panel coming in september of this year. bad news is that you’ll have to become the gay sex slave of an arab sheik to be able to afford one.
they’re gonna rip off your heads, your aspirations to shreds….(no, seriously)
i know i’m not the flatusyahu motorsports guy….but i have to use this clip to defend citizen busch, who took a lashing from conraddupes today over cb’s coca-cola600 coverage. as you will see from the clip….dale earnhardt jr. forgot how to make left hand turns:
the fox commentators originally speculated that JR had fender problems which may have prevented him from steering. i, larrykingjolson, nascar fan of over 60 years, suggest that this is total BULLSHEVITZ! i suggest that JR basically threw a traditional sit-down strike for 15 seconds or so after the tire blow-out…and that sit-down strike caused his car to incur a lot damage.
now onto some poontang via on205th. gemma atkinson nude in a pool. whip it, indeed.
has there ever been a more fearsome foursome than paul pierce, ray allen, kevin garnett and larrykingjolson?
jessica simpson breathed a sigh of relief to find out that, although she doesn’t have tony romo anymore, she still has nipples. there’s more simpson breast self-exam madness at on205th.
we really, really, really, really like #44 at the Jet’s cheerleader tryouts. {withleather}
in canada, we’ve found the fountain of poon: cuzoogle’s THE SEVEN features oodles of pictures of his favorite DEAL OR NO DEAL babies.
WOI is waxing nostalgic about the days when Jessica Alba was available and stretch-mark free. {worldofisaac}
DNA testing will prove that the semen on her cap and gown is not from a duke lacrosse player. {brahsome}
the daily gizmodo: what to get the girl who’s afraid of fried tits.
Susan Waldman’s femininity ain’t buried there, but according to Shooter…Bernie Williams and eleven other unusual things are buried at Yankee Stadium. {epiccarnival}{fivetooltool}
not since milt thompson platooned with pete incaviglia in ‘93 has black and white worked so well together:
like the rest of Philadelphia, we’re still waiting for the Flyers to show up in Pittsburgh so that we may begin game five of the Eastern Conference Finals……
if this is how they react to leprechauns….we’d love to see these black folks on a snipe hunt. {fortheloveofsports}
the daily gizmodo: we’ll give you a free toaster if you can prove that you’ve seen this video of a flying penis disrupting a former chess champ turned political agitator on any other sports blog.
watch this teaser for HBO’s Hard Knocks and you’ll be as convinced as we are that Jerry Jones is a raging homosexual. {youtube}
it’s a travesty of justice that vendors are still allowed to sell . a travesty of justice that cracks us the hell up. {angryasianman}
ain’t it strange that this gay little diddy came from a band called BAD COMPANY?
while we continue to weep for the failed candidacy of bar rafaeli, the final two of the Sexiest Woman on the Planet contest rages on and requires your intervention. we suggest you sample the marissa miller. {on205th}
where the fuck is PETPA when we need them? {huggingharoldreynolds}
via brahsome, we found out about this video featuring a nasty riot started by philadelphia eagles fans who are super pissed that chadjohnson, larryfitzgerald, anquanboldin, roywilliams, bobbyengram and are not yet eagles. word just in that this riot is NOT from the Philadelphia….but from manchester, england and apparently does NOT involve wide receivers in any way. but it’s a nasty scrum nonetheless. {observationbubble}
it’s never too early to begin thinking about your costume for the neighborhood halloween party. flatusyahu.com recommends this “giving birth to thyself” as a sure bet to please the crowds.
the daily gizmodo: who knew that casio could produce cool video like this coke can getting columbined. {gizmodo}
the quality control department is off for the night….so let’s take a look at what we found in our inbox.
(we said box)
speaking of box…there’s nothing we DON’T like about multi-media scrapper Gina Carano (aka Crush from American Blabiators). but we EXSPESHALLY dig her belly. plus she has that slightly gnarled up ellen barkin thing happening with her face. which we find very attractive. anyway….Carano has a big MMA fight coming up (where her face will probably get “barkined” a bit more). here’s the hype on that subject. {yahoobuzz}
they’re our lead-off hitter cause they ALWAYS get on base……and this scarlett johansson/penelope cruz lesbian kiss video is a homerrrrrrun. {on205th}
not for nothing, but this hank steinbrenner expose has the best title of any blog post ever written. goddamn we wish we could write like harvey bars. {tiricosuave}
p.s. how the gasman missed sportaphile’s logo in his list of top sports blog logos is mystifying….they have MULTIPLE logos….all of which are top notch.
we just noticed that ALL former beverly hills 90210 female stars have slightly strange faces. {theworldofisaac}
chase utley’s got bush! no…not THAT kind of bush (although we’re sure he gets plenty of that, too). no….utley has dubya on his team. {huggingharoldreynolds}
one of the interns just mocked LKJ for posting a picture of chase utley, but not a screen capture of scarlett johansson and penelope cruz. man-crushes are mysterious thing, indeed.
