no, this isn’t a carnac the magnificent routine……this is a story with something for everyone.

before we get to the meat and potatoes of this story, let’s summarize the key features:

1.  lipstick lesbians

2.  cougar

3.  billionaireses

4.  billionnairess cougar stealing boyfriend from billionairess niece.

5.  billionnairess niece finding comfort in arms of billionairess lesbian.

6.  lindsay lohan

7.  new york jets

that get your interest?

nypost reported over the weekend that johnson and johnson heiress casey johnson (shown above) has begun dating yahoo heiress courtenay semel.

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we realized the chances of getting laid were greatly reduced if we stopped blogging…so we blog on.

admittedly, we were late converts to the gina carano love fest….still, we are saddened that she almost lost her big shot at legitimate stardom by her love of waffles. {on205th}

the arizona state cheerleader story is proof that there is a God and that he is a man.

last week major league baseball bitch slapped little leaguers. this week, it’s the lesbians. what’s next, a strap-on gang bang of harry kalas? {withleather}

emmanuelle chriqui is our favorite adam sandler movie girlfriend. she’s our favorite everything. {yepyep}

tony romo digs chicks with whiskers. {blogofhilarity}

the daily gizmodo: comcast sucks donky dong.

this song was written for a very brave man….

ever since on205th came on board, we’ve cancelled our playboy subscription and find all our spank-inducing material over there.

but we have to say when we came upon this video on their site that we were disappointed that they feigned ignorance about the glam/goth/faux-lesbo duo,, t.a.T.u.

what site about stuff men like wouldn’t have already inducted these hot freakazoids to their hall of fame long ago? (one that has a veritable cornucopia of big boozies, hot asses, tight bodies, flat stomachs, celebrity candids, athlete WAG and other stuff men like, we guess!)

t.a.t.u. (which, for the uninitiated is a russian acronym for “this girl loves that girl”) burst on the scene five years ago when the two members began acting like lesbians, subsequently confirmed that they were lesbians, subsequently confirmed that they were lesbians but not with each other and finally subsequently confirmed that they were not lesbians after all but were just actin that way to garner attention.

and garner attention you did, t.a.T.u.! but we at flatusyahu always say….if there’s smoke, there’s carpet munching.

the band was scolded by the lesbo community and they were forced to issue the following pronouncement: “When t.A.T.u.’s second album came out, many of our fans of alternative sexual orientation thought that we lied and betrayed them. This is not true! We’ve never done that and we’ve always advocated love without boundaries.”

in other words, they fuck anything that walks, slithers or flies. and THAT is why we love t.a.T.u.!!!

the video above was directed by Roland Joffe and was released last weekend at the Cannes Film Festival…which is very appropriate….

….get it…Cannes….sounds like CANS?…..whatever…..

….and stars Mischa Barton…the trainwreck starlet who provided us with this rare nip/slip-upskirt moment.

see more t.a.T.u. lesbo action by hitting the read more link.

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Sirens - Click here for the funniest movie of the week

ellen degenerate announced that she is marrying the world’s most delectable lesbian, portia de rossi. (beside rolling the dough, ellen’s strap-on must be hung like a donkey to get de rossi)

see portia nude in the above video.

see the story of ellen marrying her here.

so, pal. you say you like hot women? flatusyahu recommends you roll over to on205th and get your visual freak on.

otherwise…see the rest of flatusyahu by clicking here.