“When it isn’t cold it’s this big…..“

Michael Phelps broke 2 world records this weekend at the US Olympic trials in Omaha,NE. A big part of that is the $550 Speedo LZR Racer “Package Enhancer” Edition that he is sporting above.

For $550 bucks couldn’t Speedo figure out how to not make the package stand out so bad? It looks like a squirrel is trying to fight his way out of a crown royal bag down there.

The shorts I wear to the pool don’t allow me to fully show off what I am packing.  I plan on buying one of these Speedo LZR’s and just floating on my back the entire time at the community pool.

Back when I use to swim in high school I would unwrap my leftover foreskin and breeze through the water like a porpoise.

I kid, I kid.

[photo credit]