Hillary Clintons campaign to become the Democratic nominee for President was dealt a probable death blow yesterday when her rival trounced her in the North Carolina primary while she barely eked out a win in a state she was expected to romp.
“Didn’t they used to lynch those motherfuckers?” Clinton said, regarding Obamas 14 point margin of victory. “I can’t believe the NASCAR capitol of the world is going to hand the country to a darkie.”
Meanwhile, Clinton witnessed an erosion of support in Indiana among demographics she could typically count on, namely retarded Catholics and people with tits. She experienced a suprisingly low margin with women, 52 to 48%. “I knew them bitches would come around” opined Obama. “and them retarded Catholics is damned near Baptists anyhows.” While Clinton got busy on the phone offering to blow anything she could to help sway uncommitted Super Delegates, Obama expressed a commitment to begin rallying a fractured party in hopes of winning the White House. “We’re gonna roll up some fat sliffs and jam with a little Marley.” explained Obama “Every little ting is gonna be alright”