clearly we can’t help ourselves.

we can’t help it. we just can’t stop writing the wang headlines. this actually two stories in one…both having to do with yanks and wang.

the first is about injured yankees pitcher chien-mien wang who will be sidelined with injury until september.

the second part of this story is about an obscure mormon lecture on the joys evils of masturbation. here’s an excerpt:

There is; however, something you should not do. Sometimes a young man does not understand. Perhaps he is encouraged by unwise or unworthy companions to tamper with that factory. He might fondle himself and open that release valve. This you shouldn’t do, for if you do that, the little factory will speed up. You will then be tempted again and again to release it. You can quickly be subjected to a habit, one that is not worthy, one that will leave you feeling depressed and feeling guilty. Resist that temptation. Do not be guilty of tampering or playing with this sacred power of creation. Keep it in reserve for the time when it can be righteously employed.

you can read the rest of this beanshrinking speech right here.

The Yankees return home tomorrow night to face Baltimore, on Gold Thong Giveaway Night. The first 5,000 fans in attendance will receive a gold thong like the Yankees wear. Throwing out the ceremonial first pitch will be Borat.

The answer… Read the rest of this entry »